LEAST FREQUENT COWBOY UTTERANCES

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“Hey, Tex, I’d die, I’d simply die for your spanikopita recipe.”

“She’s not just my manicurist; she’s also my friend.”

“Oh, come on. Comparing Nuryev to Baryshnikov is like comparing apples to oranges.”

“If you must know, Francoise, I’m weeping. Weeping openly and unashamedly. THAT’S what I’m doing.”

“I’m sure I’m not the first to tell you that your curtain designs are simply to die for!”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t let anybody talk that way about the musical stylings of Miss Laura Nyro.”

“L’chaim!”

“Tofu or veggie-burger. Tofu or veggie-burger. Why don’t you choose? I just can’t make decisions after I meditate.”

“If you think I’m going to spend two months on the trail herding cattle, without my John Updike collection, you’re nuts!”

“Because I just plain feel more comfortable in a kilt, THAT’S why.”

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