LEAST-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ST. PATRICK

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  • Real Name: Pat Lipschitz.
  • Wore satin jacket inscribed, “Saint.”
  • Invented Irish Spring soap.
  • Was expelled from school for nude-wrestling with St. Peter.
  • Not only drove the snakes out of Ireland, but also had them made into boots.
  • Operated Camp Potato, a popular summer camp for leprechauns.
  • Was instrumental in having Ireland’s official greeting changed from, “Hey, how’s it hangin’?” to “Top of the mornin’ to ya.”
  • Was indicted on twelve counts of fraud for running an illegal four-leaf clover manufacturing plant.
  • Spent seven years and most of his money campaigning to have sainthood conferred on his girlfriend, Trixie.
  • Most frequent of his expressions overheard by his neighbors: “Hey, give me a break – saints shouldn’t have to take out the garbage.”

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