“Hey, Tex, I’d die, I’d simply die for your spanikopita recipe.” “She’s not just my manicurist; she’s also my friend.” “Oh, come on. Comparing Nuryev to Baryshnikov is like comparing apples to oranges.” “If you must know, Francoise, I’m weeping….
If a starfish is cut into chunks, each piece will grow into a completely whole starfish – and yet will be unable to carry the simplest tune. Not all fish live only in the water. Many have summer residences in…
Sponge bath from Rush Limbaugh. 3 CD set: “Top Reggae Stars From Belgium.” Video re-make of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf,” starring Carrot Top and Joan Rivers. 14 volume history of The Federal Reserve System. Lock of O.J. Simpson’s hair….
“How Bad Could It Be For You If You Don’t Know What It Is?” “From Our Slaughterhouse… To Your House… With Love” “The Kardashians Swear By It!” “The Only Variety Meat That Rhymes With ‘Dead Sleaze’” “Made From The Parts…
Real Name: Pat Lipschitz. Wore satin jacket inscribed, “Saint.” Invented Irish Spring soap. Was expelled from school for nude-wrestling with St. Peter. Not only drove the snakes out of Ireland, but also had them made into boots. Operated Camp Potato,…
Listening to the unbearably agonizing, gut-wrenching screams of anyone in unspeakable pain. Merrily filling festive Halloween trick-or-treat bags with fresh entrails for the neighborhood children. Sobbing uncontrollably and for no apparent reason, for days on end. Trying to teach his…
