Commercial Parodies

THE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN TAX ALBUM

ANNOUNCER: Just released in time for Tax Day, the Bruce Springsteen Tax Album.

SPRINGSTEEN:

Taxes like ours
Baby they were born to stun…

SPRINGSTEEN:

Hey little girl is your daddy home
We’re the IRS and your house we own…

ANNOUNCER:

You’ll also get, Darkness On The Edge Of Form 1040, You Can Look But You Better Not Deduct, Audited In The U.S.A., and many more. The Bruce Springsteen Tax Album — Let The Boss soften your loss.

SPRINGSTEEN:

Got an accountant in Baltimore, Jack,
He went out with my cash and he never came back…

THE GOOD SON HOTLINE

SON/ANNCR: (A LA PHONE SEX COMMERCIAL) Well, hello there. I’ve been hungering for your call. Mothers, do you have inconsiderate sons, uncaring sons, bad sons? This Mother’s Day, treat yourself to the Good Son Hotline:

GOOD SON 1: Hello, Mother? I don’t care if it means uprooting my family — I want to live closer to you.

SON/ANNCR: The Good Son Hotline is 10 clean-cut college graduates, available to talk to you, listen to you, obey your every heartfelt whim, 24 hours a day.

GOOD SON 2: Hi, mom! I love law school! Trying to become an actor — what was I thinking?

SON/ANNCR: Do sons like this really exist? Sure — in your dreams — and on the Good Son Hotline. Call 1-900-SUCH JOY. Come on, you know you deserve it, you know you want it. Only $2.99 for the first nag; $1.99 for each additional nag.

GOOD SON 1: Hello, Ma? It’s twins! And we named them both after you.

SNOREOS

SON/ANNCR: Do your kids love cookies? Are your kids so active they exhaust you? Then you’ll love the cookies that put your children to sleep — Snoreos, the sedative-filled chocolate sandwich cookie.

WOMAN: I have three small children and they run me ragged. But four o’clock each day is my special time for myself. So at three forty-five, I give my kids Snoreos, and by four, those motor-mouths are down for the count.

(SFX: TWO CHILDREN SNORING LOUDLY)

WOMAN: God bless you, Snoreos.

ANNOUNCER: Snoreos — Kids Love ‘Em; Moms Love ‘Em Even More.

(SFX: TWO CHILDREN SNORING LOUDLY)