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- “How Bad Could It Be For You If You Don’t Know What It Is?”
- “From Our Slaughterhouse… To Your House… With Love”
- “The Kardashians Swear By It!”
- “The Only Variety Meat That Rhymes With ‘Dead Sleaze’”
- “Made From The Parts The Animal Probably Doesn’t Need”
- “Win A Free Trip To Hawaii By Eating An Entire Package Without Gagging”
- “Asked For By More Inmates Than Any Other Packaged Meat”
- “And Now, New Kosher Head Cheese – For Jews!”
- “Cancer Shmancer”
- “Now In Attractive 10-lb. Gift Tins With A Pig Hologram On Each Cover!”