Lawyer Offers World’s First Divorce Gift Certificates

2012-07-10-75627513NELLVILLE, Ga. — Lonnie Dorfus has always enjoyed giving presents. “I’ll never forget the look of joy on my mother’s face when I gave her that lopsided clay mug I made for her birthday when I was in kindergarten. Or the kiss I got from my girlfriend in high school after I got her a book by her favorite poet. Or the way my teenage daughter said, ‘I love you, daddy’ when I got her the iPod she

wanted.” So when Dorfus became a divorce attorney, he looked for some way he could continue the giving process with his own clients. “Once they’d gone through the whole divorce process, I noticed that so many of my male clients were left with literally nothing. That’s what gave me the idea of making available the one present these men would no doubt most appreciate getting from their friends and family at this very difficult time — divorce gift certificates.”

Dorfus’s divorce gift certificates come in $500 increments and go all the way up to $100,000. “Believe me,” stated Dorfus. “Nothing says ‘I care’ more than easing the financial burden of your buddy’s divorce. Many of the guys who’ve received them just break down in tears of joy and relief. Can you imagine how good that makes me feel? Still, the other day, some woman actually picketed my office, carrying a sign saying the divorce certificates are in bad taste. Can you believe that? So I’m suing her. She should let her friends know, though, that I also have lawsuit gift certificates available.”

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